If you stand back and look at it—no, stand back farther than that, right next to the edge of the cliff—this proposed merger of Chrysler LLC and General Motors, on one level, seems like a splendid idea: Dump half the dealers, half the employees, half the products, and use this supposed $11 billion in cash that Chrysler has sitting around to shore up what is left: the brightest dealers, employees, and products.

Right? Right!

Unfortunately, the only people who could write that scenario with a happy ending for all concerned are Walt Disney and Dr. Seuss, and they don’t seem to be taking on any new assignments.

Which leaves us to help you sort this out. And we at Car and Driver are, of course, public-spirited good citizens, so you can thank us later.